Sign In
Join Now

Am I A Narcissist? How to Understand if You Are Not The Easiest Person to Deal With

If you are reflecting and wondering if you may be narcissistic, that is actually a good thing! If you are worried about it, you probably are not one. This is because, typically, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder rarely worry about their narcissism. However, if after reading this article you find out that you are a narcissist, this is a huge step and great motivation to consider working with a professional to develop yourself and learn healthy coping tactics so you can be happier.

Narcissists typically have little regard for their actions. However, these people feel deep shame they attempt to cover up. NPD is a spectrum and it could look different for everyone who suffers from it. Roughly 6% of people in the US suffer from NPD, and it is even more likely that people fall just short of the diagnostic criteria.

So, how do you know if you are on the spectrum, and what do you do if you are? Read on to find out!

Values and Principles

What are your values? Everyone’s answers are different. Maybe loyalty is the most important thing to you whereas, for someone else, it is empathy. Below, we examine the difference in values between people with narcissistic personality disorder and those without. If you notice many of these values apply to you, it could be a sign you are narcissistic.

Narcissistic personality disorder:

  • Perfection;
  • Attention;
  • Status;
  • Positive image;
  • Overzealous for success.

Those without NPD:

  • Opportunity for personal growth;
  • Connection with others;
  • Equality;
  • Authenticity over falseness;
  • Accepting failure.

Narcissists tend to believe that status and power directly affect everything. Their values tend to be self-involved, whereas people without NPD tend to be more inclusive. Think about yourself in social and solo situations. Where do you stand? What tends to be most important to you in relationships or in life? Take a moment and reflect.

This is not to say that you cannot value success or status, it is okay if you do! The problem becomes when it is consuming you. We all want to be liked, supported, and maybe even a little praise for a job well done. The values we hold close do not make us bad people, but again, be mindful of why you value the things you do and how you use them.

Principles That Suggest a Narcissistic Personality:

Again, take these with a grain of salt, but pay attention to them.

1. Image is everything.

Narcissists will do anything to look good to everyone around them. They enjoy being the center of attention and will not settle for anything less. Their image is most important to them. Narcissists do not show weakness, so they rarely will correct themselves.

2. If I do not have attention, I am unimportant.

Being admired or paid attention to is a narcissist’s dream. They can become moody, irritable, and insatiable if that attention becomes scarce. It reminds them that they are worthy, and therefore, powerful.

3. If I am not winning, I am losing.

Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy. They care about winning more than other people. This often leads to them taking credit for others’ ideas and blame any mistakes on others. They often do not see how much this hurts people, and if they do see it, they rarely care.

4. Honesty is best when it suits me.

Because a narcissist will do what they need to succeed, the truth becomes subject. They want to be convincing and will often embellish stories or lie about themselves and their success to appear better to others.

5. Consistency is not important.

Narcissists are very impulsive and do whatever they can to get attention when they want it. They do not consider the long-term consequences. They enjoy the ability to keep people guessing.

6. You can never get too comfortable.

Believe it or not, these people are not very comfortable with themselves, and that is why they act the way they do. They genuinely believe that people are out to get them, which is why it is so hard for them to open up and have genuine relationships with others. Many narcissistic people may secretly feel isolated.

7. Introspection is not important.

Narcissists usually do not know why they act the way they do. Introspection makes them uncomfortable. It gets in the way of what they want and makes it harder for them to take responsibility for their actions. Without owning their actions, it is difficult for them to change their behavior. It is a vicious cycle.

Coping With Narcissism

If you find yourself being narcissistic or holding many of these values/principles, it might be helpful to know that others may not always find it easy to be around you. This can be difficult to realize. Of course, you are going through a lot and have developed these traits for a reason. It may have to do with childhood trauma or a cover-up for insecurities, but whatever the reason, it may be worth finding a psychologist to talk to so you can be the best version of yourself.

To cope with your own narcissism, it is crucial that you spot your tendencies and behaviors. It may feel counterintuitive at first, but the only way to overcome it is to educate yourself and hold yourself accountable. When evaluating yourself, ask the following questions:

  1. Do I think it costs a lot for others to be in relationships with me?
  2. What would it cost me to change my narcissistic behaviors?
  3. Will the benefits outweigh the costs?

You do not have to cope alone. Mental Treat has a variety of specialists who are ready to talk when you need them. Check out our platform and use our intelligent filters to find the person who specializes in your area of need. When it comes to mental health, treat it with the same level of care as you would a broken bone. Help is available and accessible. Take care, and be well.

Facebook
LinkedIn
Twitter
Pinterest
WhatsApp
Email

Read more interesting stories

Uncategorized
Sean McCormick

Make ADHD Your Superpower

This article aims to teach you how to utilize a practical framework to advocate for the support you need from coaches and other support providers; 

January 30, 2022