Women and Low Sex Drive: Why it Happens and What You Should Know

Do you know those happy couples on Instagram who seems like they have it all together? They have one thing in common: little to no sexual intimacy in the relationship. This is particularly a problem for women, yet no one talks about it. This is only an issue when it bothers or affects the woman herself. If her partner wants more than she is willing to offer, it means nothing.

Sheryl Kingsberg, a researcher in the field, explains that sexual drive is the “biological component of desire.” This is reflected as spontaneous sexual thoughts, fantasies, or daydreams. Men tend to be more readily aroused than women, but low sexual desire can happen to men as well. A low sexual desire is not restricted to race, demographic, sexual orientation, or gender. Low sex drive can cause a strain in any kind of relationship. If you feel that your sex drive is a problem and want to better understand what is going on, continue reading for tips and details.

Symptoms and What To Know

Some of the most common symptoms of low sex drive in women include:

  • Hardly fantasizing or having sexual thoughts;
  • Having no interest in sexual activity (including masturbation);
  • Being concerned about your lack of sex drive.

Remember, if you want to have sex less often than your partner, this may not point to an abnormality, but rather a difference in your preferences. For some, sex is crucial to a relationship, and for others, it is not. However, if you notice that your sex drive is lower than it was, this might mean that your relationship is stronger. A low sex drive varies from person to person. So do not worry about trying to fit a particular mold; it fluctuates and can be different for everyone.

Why Does This Happen?

Almost 1 in 3 women between the ages of 18 and 59 complain of a lack of sexual desire. It is normal for women to fluctuate between being very interested in sex and less so, but women struggle with knowing what is considered ‘normal’. Some women are bothered by it and feel they are missing out on sexual pleasure and intimacy with their partner, while others are not as concerned. Whatever your situation, here are 5 reasons why you may be experiencing a low sex drive:

1. Prescription drugs.

Certain prescription drugs (especially antidepressants) are known for lowering sex drive. Other drugs (birth control, antihistamines, and blood pressure medications) are also known for these side effects. Depression, in general, can lower your sex drive. So talk to your doctor if this is a concern for you.

2. Lifestyle habits.

If you are sleep-deprived or experiencing fatigue, this could directly influence your sex drive. It can be hard enough to get through the day let alone think about having sex. A glass of wine may help you unwind, but too much alcohol can actually make you less in the mood. Keep this in mind before you get too down on yourself for not being as in the mood.

3. Health issues.

There is a biological component of a low sex drive. If your hormone levels are going through changes, such as during menopause, it can potentially cause vaginal issues and pain or discomfort during sex. Pregnancy can also change your hormones and affect your sex drive.

However, many nonsexual diseases can affect your sex drive too. Arthritis, cancer, high blood pressure, neurological disorders, and diabetes all play a role. Consult with your doctor if this may be a problem for you.

4. Emotions.

Your emotions directly affect your sexual needs and desires. There are many psychological causes of low sex drive; stress from work or family for instance. If you are concerned about being physically adequate for your partner, you will experience more distress surrounding sex. Check-in with yourself and see if there is a psychological reason you may be experiencing a lower sex drive.

5. Relationship problems.

If you are having a hard time connecting with your partner or feel emotionally distant, it can be hard to want to have sex. Communication problems can lead to a strain on your relationship, and sexual intimacy often becomes a struggle as a result. Unresolved conflicts, fighting, trust issues, and differences in sexual preferences can all contribute to relationship problems.

What Can Be Done

If you feel that your sex drive is a problem and you recognize the reasons above, do not worry. There is much that can be done. We recommend that you:

  • Get a checkup from your doctor to rule out any physical or mental problems. They could recommend you switch a medication you are on to help improve this.
  • Do not stress about being more sexual, but rather take your time.
  • Do not accept this as a new normal, but rather use this as an opportunity to reconnect with your partner.
  • Address any relationship problems you may have with your partner. This could help better the relationship and improve your sex drive.
  • Better manage your stress levels. Take up yoga or try to get more exercise as a place to start.

In order to make a positive change, the underlying problems must be addressed. If you find that your lack of sleep is affecting your sex drive, try getting more sleep or napping during the day if you can. Take a look at the medications you are on and address any issues.

Seek a relationship counselor or therapist if you want to continue working on your communication skills and problem-solving in your relationship. On Mental Treat, we have a variety of licensed mental health professionals who can help you and your partner get back to a healthy place. Check out our platform to get started.

A Word From Mental Treat

Sex drive is very complicated and very personal. Often there are many factors at play. If you have trauma surrounding sexual experiences, it can really interfere with your level of sexual desire. Please do not be ashamed of this and know that your experiences are valid.

Women are often too embarrassed or ashamed to speak up when it comes to sex. They often feel insecure about not being ‘normal’. Many women are not aware that solutions are out there and help is available. Let’s work together to break the stigma surrounding sexual desire and learn more about treatment options available so that women (and everyone else) can confidently get the answers they need.

We hope this resource was helpful for you and you will continue to check out our other blogs as well as our professional platform. Take care, and be well.


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