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Dating After the Pandemic: Making Room for Mental Health in Your Relationship

2020 was a very difficult time for people looking to find the one with bars being closed and less opportunity for meeting strangers in a crowded room. With masks and distancing, there is nothing more awkward than thinking someone is cute when 75% of their face is covered, only to find out they did not look like how you thought they would.

For some people, the idea of meeting a stranger without knowing their full medical history is daunting. How do you casually ask a stranger if they have been exposed to anyone showing symptoms of COVID-19 in the last 10 days? If you wear a mask but your partner does not does that mean they were licking the floors of a Miami bar last summer? We are here to help you get back into dating safely and keep these negative thoughts away.

Take Things Slow

No matter how your dating life was during quarantine, you might feel a little hesitant to grab a coffee or drink with someone in person. If you decide you are not ready to get out there yet, set a date that is a few weeks away! Taking it slowly does not have to mean waiting months to make a move, but rather not rushing anything and taking your time. It is hard to trust people following all the losses we just experienced, so be cautious with your heart.

Look inside yourself to find what feels right for you. You want to be grounded in every aspect of your life before you reenter the world of dating. If it helps, meet in a public place during the day. Set yourself up for success. We are all still processing the events of the last two years, and we do not need to add any unwanted surprises. Take the time you need to feel okay with the date; the right person will understand.

Be Attentive to Yourself and Your Energy Level

Zoom fatigue and the general stress of the last year have really taken a toll on our energy levels. We have gotten used to a certain lifestyle at this point and it is hard to readjust. Just because things are opening very quickly does not mean that you need to be at that same level. Be sure to pay attention to your personal energy levels and what you are feeling up for on that particular day. Let yourself restafter long days of social interaction if that is what you need.

To learn more about managing stress, check out our article here.

Challenge Your Anxiety If It Appears

Assessing the reality of the situation and setting boundaries can help ease anxiety. Be upfront about your feelings, even when it is difficult. When anxiety comes up, do not let yourself fold to it. The more you communicate with the person you are dating or starting to date, the better you are setting up the relationship for success. Here are some tips we recommend for conquering your anxiety in these situations:

  1. Practice deep breathing excersises.
  2. Practice mindfulness.
  3. Identify your triggers and journal about them.
  4. Rely on your pets for emotional support.
  5. Attend a yoga class (virtually or in-person).
  6. Go for walks.
  7. Find your comforts (meditation apps, reading, television)
  8. Keep a gratitude journal.
  9. Practice visualization techniques.
  10. See a professional if you find yourself struggling to cope alone.

For more information on meditation and mindfulness, check out our article here.

 

Prepare Yourself For Awkward Conversations and Small Talk

We have been avoiding people and situations for a long time now, it is bound to be a little awkward at first to reengage. We have not had to make awkward small talk with a stranger for a while, so these muscles need a little work. Try practicing your answers to obvious questions (“how have you been?” “what are you doing these days?”) and give yourself a break if things do not go perfectly. We are all still in the process of getting back to normal; it could be your date’s first time out since quarantine too!

Be sure to check out our article on Socializing Aftet the Pandemic for additional information and resources. Remember, anxiety is a very common emotion. It is all about how we choose to handle it.

Stay Safe And Pay Attention to Your Comfort Zone

Jumping right into the deep end can be the right thing to do for some, but for others, the return to a ‘normal’ dating life needs to be done more slowly. Social events and loud, crowded areas may not be right for you at this moment. Try to visit an outdoor restaurant or go at off-hours to start. Once you gain some confidence back, you can move onto bigger venues. If you are being put in a situation you are uncomfortable with, practice being vulnerable and let the person know. Especially if you are not ready to perform a sexual act or uncomfortable with physical touch. Again, the right person will understand.

You may not necessarily get an answer as compassionate as you would like, but this is another opportunity to practice understanding. However, this too can take some pressure off the situation. Your comfort level is important and acknowledging it can only help you get more comfortable and confident in the dating world.

A Word From Mental Treat

It is okay to not be ready yet. COVID-19 has caused us to regress in all kinds of ways. It is important to figure out what you want and where you are emotionally. You may not be in a place to put your heart out there yet, and that is more than okay. Give yourself time. You can only really connect with someone when you are ready to do so.

2020 brought different lessons for all of us, and all of the self-love and self-care should not be forgotten. You cannot love someone until you love yourself. Prioritize yourself so that you can make room for someone else in your heart. We wish you the best of luck in your journey to find love, whatever that means for you! As always, take care, and be well.

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