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Healing From Bullying

Most people encounter some form of bullying during their lifetime. There is a common misconception that bullying only happens during childhood; however, bullying does not go away just because you become an adult.

Adult bullying happens through intimidation, control, and condescension. Maybe you have a boss who uses his or her power to intimidate you into doing something or a partner who is particularly controlling. Whatever the situation, this is abusive behavior.

Our article will focus on the different kinds of adult bullies, why you might be experiencing bullying, and how to heal from it. Adult bullying is a very large problem and may require legal action in some severe cases. Let’s break down the basics.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is a repeated pattern of behavior that is deliberately harmful or humiliating. Bullies tend to prey on people they think are vulnerable (younger, smaller, weaker). They want to take power away from their victims.

Bullying can be done through physical or verbal harm. Name calling, intimidation, and intentionally harming someone are all forms of bullying. As we get older, this bullying becomes more damaging and manipulative. While the internet has provided us with many wonderful things, it is also another way for people to bully others, particularly in the workplace or social settings. Believe it or not, men and women are equally likely to bully.

What makes a person a bully?The vicious actions a person takes that lead to threats, invasion of privacy or space, unwanted physical contact, insults, and more to someone else.

Who Often Gets Bullied In The Workplace

Skilled Employees

Unfortunately, bullies may torture you for receiving positive recognition and attention for your work. If you are known for your creative ideas or brilliance in the conference room, this could drive someone doing less well crazy. Maybe you move through projects quickly or always go the extra mile. Whatever you are skilled at, being good at your job often attracts workplace bullies.

Popular Employees

This one feels particularly high school, but it is true. It is not always the outcast people who are bullied, but the ones who are most well-liked are most vulnerable to workplace bullying. Bullies see this as a threat to their popularity and status and can get defensive.

We pride ourselves on being well-liked, but to bullies, it is an intolerable trait in others.

Introverted Employees

People who are introverted and have trouble asserting themselves are also more likely to be bullied in the workplace. Research shows however that when adults build up their self-esteem, they lessen the likelihood of being bullied.

If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression as a result of workplace bullying, please seek help. Not only does this make your life more difficult, but it could actually attract a bully (like a shark when a fish is vulnerable).

Stereotyped Employees

You may be a target because of your race, age, gender, sexual orientation, or religion. You may also have a physical feature that draws attention to yourself (such as a disability, blue hair, or being overweight). The simple truth is, bullies will target people who are different from them. They also tend to discriminate. If you believe you are the target of bullying for any of the above reasons, you can always contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

Good Employees

If you are someone who is collaborative and caring, this may be why you are experiencing bullying. These characteristics, to a bully, are negative because they take away power from them. Bullies hate team-building because they want to be the person solely in control. So, if you are known for being a team-player it could actually make you a target.

Just because you have the above traits that may attract a bully, does not mean you should change yourself or your behavior. This is just to provide insight as to why you may be targeted. These are all positive traits and you should be proud to be known as someone who works hard, helps others, and gets along with fellow employees. The bully is what is wrong here, not you.

Components Of Workplace Bullying

Experts agree that what makes bullying distinctive from mean behavior is the intention to harm his or her victim(s). This could be done in many ways, including:

A Power Imbalance

When there is a power imbalance, it is hard for the victim to defend him or herself from a bully. Sometimes the bully is a boss or a supervisor and the victim feels they do not have anywhere to turn. Perceived power imbalances are more difficult. This leaves the victim feeling alone, excluded, threatened, and vulnerable.

Repetitive Actions

Bullying is almost always repeated. When they have found their target, they lash out multiple times and will consistently repeat behavior. Sometimes they will try to take credit for the work you do, spread gossip, or intentionally leave you out of important meetings.

Intentional Actions

Bullying is always intentional. Manipulation and control are the name of the game for these workplace bullies. Remember, there is nothing accidental about their behavior. Because the behavior is so specific and calculated, targets often feel humiliated, ashamed, anxious, or worse.

Effects Of Bullying On Mental Health

For people who watch the bullying happen and choose not to get involved (bystanders), there can be harmful effects. Whether or not you are on the receiving end of bullying, there can still be an emotional impact. There is research that says there is actually a risk of developing depressive symptoms for those who have witnessed workplace bullying.

For victims of bullying, you may have increased anxiety, paranoia, or trouble sleeping. Feeling scared or at risk does very poorly for one’s mental health.

Coping With Workplace Bullying

The best way to overcome workplace bullying is to not let it define you or diminish your work. It is crucial that you contact a manager or human resources if you are experiencing anything we discussed before it gets worse.

Do not be the hero and try to tolerate workplace bullying. Prioritize yourself and take control of the situation. This behavior is unacceptable at any age, but particularly as adults.

Look for healthy ways to relieve stress. Please check out this article we have that is all tips on coping with adult bullying. If you are looking for a specialist to talk to, check out the Mental Treat platform. We have many trained, licensed mental health practitioners who have experience working with people who have been bullied. For access to the platform, click here.

A Word From Mental Treat

Bullying can take a toll on us in many ways. If you are experiencing physical side effects of bullying (trouble sleeping, stress, aches, and pains), contact your doctor. We hope you consider using Mental Treat to find a mental health professional who can help you cope with symptoms of anxiety and depression or to build up your self-confidence.

No matter what, find support from others. Co-workers, family, and friends are all great sources of support and understanding. It can help you overcome the effects of bullying to know you have a team behind you. We wish you the best of luck as you navigate and overcome this problem. Take care, and be well.

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