How To Improve A Relationship With A Workaholic Partner

If you are partners with someone who is a workaholic, you may feel like you are never going to win. This person may place their own unhealthy thoughts about work on you and make you feel like you are not doing enough. They could make you feel isolated, break promises, and treat you like you are not the same priority as a work project. All of this creates resentment in a relationship and makes being a partner much more difficult.

These issues can result in discontent in the relationship that could cause you to consider leaving your partner or the other way around. When one partner is working excessively and not considering the needs of the other, the relationship is threatened. Sometimes it takes health or personal emergencies for these workaholics to realize that their behavior needs to change. Looking for support? We have you covered. In this article, we will be diving into how to deal with this kind of person and providing several tips on how to do it healthily and effectively.

How to Deal With a Partner Who Is a Workaholic

If you are becoming increasingly more frustrated with your partner’s obsession with work, it is important to have an open conversation. While you may not agree with the way he or she may handle themselves, do not let the stress of the situation dominate the conversation.

Avoid scolding your partner or nagging them. Instead, be positive and remind them about what they are missing out on by having this tendency. Let them experience the consequences of working too much by talking about your weekend plans, vacations, or hobbies you are picking up. Do not let this person make you feel like you should be putting your life on hold. When they start to see that you will do things without them and life will go on, it might encourage them to change.

Here Are 7 Tips on How to Improve Your Relationship With a Workaholic Partner:

1. Stop Assuming Their Household Duties.

Any good relationship is based in mutual respect and division of duties. Not answering phone calls, taking out the trash, or anything else that was traditionally their ‘job’. When you do this, it will certainly grab your partner’s attention and lay the groundwork for what needs to change.

2. Prioritize Face-to-Face Communication.

It is not too much to ask that your partner put away his or her phone when you are together. Quality, face-to-face communication is crucial to healthy relationships. This is an easy effort you can both put in to better your connection and prioritize your relationship.

3. Acknowledge the Benefits of a Partner Who Is Dedicated to His or Her Work.

Being with someone who is so passionate about work that they do not consider it ‘work’ can have a lot of benefits. Their work and life are not competing, they are reciprocal. While some people can take it too far, when someone loves what they do that is a fantastic spot.

4. Plan Activities With Your Partner.

While they may ask you for a Google Calendar invite, it is about getting them outside of their work environment. Planning activities together can help them keep a sense of control over their schedule while forcing them to compromise with your wants/needs. This could be apple picking on a Sunday afternoon or a big trip. Whatever the activity, encourage them to get outside of the office and work together to agree on what to do.

5. Put Quality Over Quantity When It Comes to Your Time Together.

After a long day, it can be hard to be the best version of yourself. However, work on getting the best out of your time with your partner. If you spend every night together being moody or upset from the day, it does not matter how many hours you are around each other. Find ways to unwind with your partner so that the time you spend together is valuable and makes you both feel better.

4. Stay Calm.

This is for you as much as it is for them. Narcissists enjoy getting a reaction out of the other person, so if you remain calm it eliminates the reaction. This can also help you calm yourself down and feel safe. Refocus and breathe.

5. Follow Through.

Be as assertive and bold with your actions as possible to combat their rage. If you make boundaries, stick to them. If you say things, commit to them. Narcissists look for weakness, but if you are strong and steadfast in your words, you will be able to overcome them. The more you are educated on NPD and narcissistic rage, the better and smarter you will be.

6. Bring the Energy Into Fixing Your Relationship.

Encourage your partner to approach your relationship problems with as much energy as they would a work problem. See what works for you and your partner and communicate effectively. Some people may have weekly check-ins with their partner to talk about expectations for the week and fine-tune their schedules. This is particularly helpful when you are on slightly different schedules so there is less room for miscommunication.

7. Constantly Put In the Work.

Start by reframing arguments in more constructive ways. When you hit a roadblock with your partner, lead with empathy and compassion. Never lose sight of what is important. Even when things get petty or difficult, putting in the work and making your relationship the priority will help you get through it.

When to Seek Professional Help

It can feel incredibly difficult to overcome issues related to a workaholic partner.It is more difficult to do it alone. Psychologists and marriage counselors are excellent resources and here to make this dialogue easier.

If your relationship with your partner is suffering because of the hours they are working, counseling is a great place to start. If you can get them to the initial session, you may be able to express the gravity of the problem and better articulate to them the way their actions are affecting you and your relationship.

Discussions surrounding boundaries will help your partner overcome their workaholic tendencies and communicate with each other openly. If they agree to these sessions, setting the boundary of no cell phones when we watch television together at night could really reduce the work-related stress on your alone time.

The first step is starting the conversation. Explain how you are feeling and why therapy or counseling might be the right step. If you need a place to start looking, try Mental Treat. Our platform is designed to make receiving help as easy as possible. We have a variety of licensed specialists who know how to work with couples or individuals on relationship matters. Click here to start finding the right fit for you. We also encourage you to read our other articles on workaholism.

  • Understanding Workaholism and How it Affects Intimate Relationships.
  • How to Maintain A Work-Life Balance: 7 Tips For Workaholics.

We hope this article will help you and your partner overcome your struggles and better understand workaholism’s effect on relationships. It may not always be easy to overcome, but it is worth it to try. As always, take care, and be well.

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Natalia Korsakova

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