7 Ideas On How To Improve Self-esteem (Based on Studies)

We are constantly coming across this idea of believing in ourselves and what that means. We believe that we can ace that test or nail that presentation. It is easier to believe in ourselves when it comes to smaller, less scary tasks. However, even though we cannot be superheroes flying through the air or all marry into a royal family, we can believe in ourselves and our ability to succeed in relationships, happiness, and other facets of our lives. Having this level of self-esteem is crucial to motivating ourselves and reaching our goals with a positive attitude.

There are many studies that have found a direct correlation between self-esteem and our overall well-being. In this article, we will be diving into self-esteem and unpacking the best tips to improve it. Check it out!

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of self value or worth. Self-esteem expert Morris Rosenberg describes it as a “favorable or unfavorable attitude toward the self”.

There can be a variety of factors that influence our self-esteem levels. These include:

●  Age

●  Health

●  Genetics

●  Personality

●  Social circumstances

●  How often we compare ourselves to others

●  Reaction of peers and others

How Self-Esteem Develops

There are two components of self-esteem and how they develop over time. The first is the sense of personal worth or being worthy of respect. This typically develops from being loved or valued by the people in your life, specifically parents. For instance, knowing that your behavior and status matter to others enough to cause them to have real emotion and provoke action contributes to feelings of self-worth.

The second component of self-esteem is a sense of competence or efficacy. This stems from the extent to which one sees oneself as the cause of effects. Self-esteem consists of the feeling of having an effect on things and being able to cause or affect events. This quiet confidence influences one’s ability to cope with life challenges and provides them that sense of competence.

Self-esteem is viewed as the product of evaluating oneself against one or more criteria and reaching the expected standards. The ‘criteria’ vary between cultures and subcultures. Here are the six major areas of evaluation in the United States:

●  Inherited endowments (intelligence, physical appearance, natural abilities)

●  Being unique in some way (valuable and worthy of respect)

●  Moral integrity or virtue

●  Achievements (skills, possessions)

●  Feeling lovable and likable

●  Feeling in control or responsible of one’s life

It is important to note that self-esteem is not a fixed idea. It is actually very malleable and can change over time and develop. It fluctuates as we age, has new experiences, and live our day-to-day lives.

Research on self-esteem

Many researchers have focused on this topic. A variety of studies have found that it is possible to build self-esteem, particularly in children and adolescents.

One study by university students in Brazil found a correlation between self-esteem and optimism (Bastinello, Pacico & Hutz, 2014). Another study found that differences in self-esteem between collective and individualistic cultures with self-esteem being generally lower in collectivist cultures. This cross-cultural research study was conducted in 31 countries. Expressing personal emotions, cognitive thoughts, and attitudes are highly correlated with self-esteem and collectivist cultures tend to lack those (Diener & Diener 1995).

A study in China (a collectivist) found that self-esteem was a significant predictor of life satisfaction (Chen, Cheung, Bond & Leung, 2006). Similar to other collectivist cultures, they found that self-esteem had an effect on resilience within teenagers. Teenagers with lower self-esteem reported higher senses of hopelessness and resilience (Karatas, 2011).

In contrast, more individualistic cultures bring up teenagers who are taught to depend on their beliefs, behaviors and feel open about expressing their opinions. This produces higher self-esteem and more resilience (Dumont & Provost, 1999).

Another study found that school-based programs that pair students with mentors and focus on relationship building, self-esteem, academic achievement, and goal setting have proven to enhance their self-esteem, improve academic performance, improve relationships, and reduce depression and bullying behaviors (King, Vidourek, Davis & McClellan, 2009).

Other elementary school programs focus on improving self-esteem through short, classroom-based activities that have a positive impact on their self-esteem, and reduce behavioral problems by strengthening connections between peers (Park & Park, 2014).

The potential to boost your self-esteem does not just benefit children and youth. Adults can also work to improve this. Although it may not be as built into their day-to-day lives, these changes can be made. It is very possible to change self-esteem even though it develops through childhood.

What is healthy self-esteem?

Healthy self-esteem has to be cultivated and carefully nurtured. One person cannot give another high self-esteem. Parents, teachers, mentors, and our peers are the most important people in cultivating our self-esteem. They create conditions that enable young people to grow and learn how to use their self basis. All of the different transitions in your life (entering the workforce, children growing up and leaving, approaching retirement, retiring) all create major threats to your self-esteem. This is why major life changes sometimes cause people to fall into a state of depression and have lowered self-esteem.

Below are some simple ways to identify if you have a healthy self-esteem. You:

●  Avoid dwelling on the past or negative experiences;

●  Express your needs to those around you;

●  Have a positive outlook on life;

●  Feel confident;

●  Say “no” when you want to;

●  Accept your overall strengths and weaknesses.

You may need to work on your self-esteem if you experience any of the following problems:

1. Finding it difficult to express your needs;

2. Believing that others are better than you;

3. Focusing on your weaknesses;

4. Having a negative outlook on life;

5.  Frequently experiencing feelings of shame, depression, or anxiety;

6. Struggling with your confidence;

7. Having trouble saying no.

If you are experiencing unhealthy self-esteem, there are several avenues for improvement and help. However, sometimes the opposite can be the problem.

There is a fine line between being confident in oneself and being narcissistic. Confidence is highly positive and correlated with achievement, good relationships, and overall satisfaction. Too much self-esteem results in off-putting entitlement and an ability to learn from failures. It is also a sign of clinical narcissism. This is when individuals behave in ways that are self-centered, manipulative, and arrogant. When it comes to self-esteem, maybe no other topic in self-help is so debated.

Measuring self-esteem

The most common way to measure self-esteem is the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (RSE or SES). This scale was developed by Rosenberg and presented in his book ​Society and the Adolescent Self-Image​ in 1965. This method contains 10 items rated on a 1 (strongly agree) to 4 (strongly disagree) scale. Some items are reverse-scored and the total score is calculated by adding up the total points for an overall look of self-esteem. The 10 items are:

  1. On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.

  2. At times I think I am no good at all.

  3. I feel that I have a number of good qualities.

  4. I am able to do things as well as most other people.

  5. I feel I do not have much to be proud of.

  6. I certainly feel useless at times

  7. I feel that I am a person of worth.

  8. I wish I could have more respect for myself.

  9. All in all, I am inclined to think I am a failure.

10.I take a positive attitude towards myself.

10.I take a positive attitude towards myself.

Items 2, 5, 6, 8, and 9 are reverse-scored while the others are scored normally. This creates a score between 10 and 40 points, with lower scores being indicative of higher self-esteem. This scale is considered highly consistent and reliable. It is the method used by thousands of researchers and still in use today, making it one of the most cited scales ever developed.

How to improve self-esteem

Now that you have a better understanding of self-esteem and how to assess it, let’s talk about what we can do to improve.

1. Spend time with people who support you.

It may seem obvious, but when we spend time with people who lift us up, it provides us all kinds of positivity. These people have your best interest at heart and will actively make you feel good about yourself. It is best to interact with people like this when you are feeling low so you can be reminded of how worthy you are.

2. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking.

Your initial thought may not always be the best way to approach a situation. Ask yourself if your view is consistent with the facts or logic present. Be aware that it can be difficult to recognize inaccuracies in thinking. These long-held beliefs can feel like facts, but the more you challenge these negative beliefs, the more positive outcomes you will see.

3. Take on challenges.

People with lower self-esteem tend to avoid challenges and difficulties. One way to improve your self-esteem is to accept challenges and try something new that may be difficult. Overcoming difficulties can do wonders for self-esteem.

4. Improve your physical health.

It is important to feel good about yourself physically so that you can take care of yourself mentally. However, when people have lower self-esteem it can be difficult to feel that you are worthy of taking care of yourself. Try making an effort to exercise more regularly, eat better, and get enough sleep. When your physical health is being cared for, it can make a very positive difference for your mental health.

5. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

If you aced a test you crammed for or won a game of bingo, no matter how small, celebrate the wins. This reminds you that there are positive things in life and many victories. Not everything has to be major, sometimes the small things are enough. The more small things you acknowledge, the longer your gratitude list can be.

6. Accept your thoughts and feelings.

Instead of trying to eliminate negative thoughts and feelings entirely, accept and acknowledge that they exist without giving them the power to control you. As you begin to recognize patterns in your thoughts that are contributing to lower self-esteem, you will be able to control them better and accept them.

7. Give yourself a break.

You do not have to be ‘on’ 24/7. Breaks are so important to our overall functioning. Self-esteem situations vary on the person, so if you are someone who feels relaxed in large groups, go out with friends. If you are someone who feels relaxed alone, take a hot shower and put on a good movie. There are many ways to give yourself small breaks throughout the day too! Taking a walk or rewarding yourself with a treat are great places to start.

There are many simple ways to improve your self-esteem and keep it as healthy as possible. Mental Treat also has a variety of resources on improving your mental health, relieving stress, getting professional help, and more.

Therapy and counseling for unhealthy self-esteem

All of this research has also proven the many ways that therapy and counseling can help clients improve his or her self-esteem. If performed correctly, therapy can be an excellent way of boosting your self-esteem, especially if it is low to begin with. Here are some examples of how counseling and therapy can boost someone’s self-esteem:

●  When a client shares his or her inner thoughts, the therapist is able to offer acceptance and compassion. This removes the judgement or correction that can be foundational to poor self-esteem.

●  This acceptance and unconditional positive regard encourages clients to re-think some of their assumptions, and reach positive conclusions.

●  The therapist will be able to better explain that self-esteem is a belief, and something that can be altered. This will help a client understand that he or she can be the same person they are now, and improve their self-esteem.

●  The therapist can then offer new experiences to the client and that acceptance of the client can act as a model for how he or she can accept themselves.

● Finally, the therapist can accept the client for who they are and affirm their thoughts and feelings as acceptable. It is not the therapist’s job to approve of every action a client takes, but showing acceptance and approval of who they are will give a very positive impact on his or her own beliefs in worth (Gilbertson, 2016).

Following these guidelines encourages your client to develop a better form of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-esteem. It can be easier to cope with issues with some guidance. Plus, sometimes these issues are so deep you may need help uncovering them. On Mental Treat, we have professionals who specialize in these issues. Check out our website to find the right fit for you, or learn more!

Some affirmations and popular books on self-esteem

Now you are ready to get started and keep your self-esteem positive and healthy! To help support yourself even more, try using affirmations:

●  I deserve to be happy and successful.

●  I am competent, smart, and able.

●  I will continue to grow and learn.

●  I love the person I am becoming.

●  I believe in my skills and abilities.

●  Mistakes are a stepping stone to success.

●  I deserve a good life.

●  I deny any need for suffering or misery.

●  I will stand by my decisions.

●  I deserve the love I am given.

There are also many books available on self-esteem; what influences it, what it is,
how it can be developed, and how it can be encouraged and cultivated by others. Here are some of the most popular ones:

●  Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay, Ph.D. (Amazon)

●  The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Build Confidence and Achieve Your Goals by Lisa M. Schab, LCSW (Amazon)

●  Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns, MD (Amazon)

●  Being Me: A Kid’s Guide to Boosting Confidence and Self-Esteem by

Wendy L. Moss, Ph.D. (Amazon)

●  The Self-Esteem Guided Journal by Matthew McKay & C. Sutker (Amazon)

● Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel (Amazon)

Self-esteem is so important to be conscious of and pay attention to. If you stay committed, you will be able to achieve the most positive and healthy form of self-esteem. We hope this article was helpful in your journey!

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