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How to Improve Trust Issues

Trust issues. There are songs about it, movies about it; it has become romanticized. But what actually are trust issues? The obstacle between you and intimacy, creating a connection with others, and often leftover damage from a bad relationship. However, trust issues can come from a variety of sources.

When you feel these trust issues coming up, it can be hard to make yourself vulnerable, which is essential to successful, long relationships. In this article, we will be delving into the real side of trust issues, signs and symptoms, and how to overcome them.

5 Signs You May Have Trust Issues

If any of these sound like, you may be experiencing trust issues.

1. You Trust People You Should Not.

It may seem counterintuitive, but it really is not. People who have trust issues often place trust in people who are likely to take advantage of them. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in this way; you are unconsciously confirming that people are untrustworthy.

2. You Trust People Too Quickly.

Again, we have the self-fulfilling prophecy. This may also come from an incorrect understanding of trust. Trust is something that needs to be earned. As an adult, you are best starting off with an open mind and heart to others. However, extend that trust to people who build trust. Never trust blindly.

3. Your Relationships With Others Are Shallow.

You could be a very deep and emotional person, but your relationships may not express that. This is your way of protecting yourself. You do not have to open yourself up and share vulnerabilities. Your relationships are often lighter and lack communication.

4. You Believe You Are Being Betrayed, Even Without Evidence.

If someone has a tendency to lie or not come through, a lack of trust is warranted. However, many people with trust issues are accusatory of people who have never shown any sign of being untrustworthy. Still, you may have a hard time trusting and separating your ideas in your head from reality. This is often a reflection of past experiences and how they negatively affect your present and future relationships.

5. You Are Scared of Emotional Commitment.

Trust issues are often the anticipated loss. Your relationships do not feel solid, so getting close to people and committing emotionally is daunting. You do not want to attach yourself to something you know you are going to lose or that will disappoint you.

5 Steps to Work on Trust Issues in Your Relationships

It may seem like a lost cause to try to rebuild your sense of trust, but that could not be further from the truth. There are many steps you can take to work on your trusting skills. Here are our favorites:

1. Respect Yourself and Your Partner.

Mutual respect has to be the center of any relationship. Respect, like trust, is also earned. It is essential to respect your partner’s opinions and value his or her trust. This not only applies to your partner and other adults but children as well. Children should be treated with respect so they learn how to respect others and put it into practice. Respect is crucial to relationships in all forms and helps value trust.

2. Improve Communication.

Communication is fundamental. The ability to communicate and address issues leads to stronger relationships and more trust. When things are communicated efficiently and clearly there is little room for misunderstanding. All evidence can be collected in a conversation, and it shows a higher level of respect.

Instead of confirming first impressions and jumping to conclusions, communication deepens our understanding and makes us take our partner’s perspective and feelings into account. We should be able to express our feelings in a healthy manner and listen and give our partner the same respect.

3. Practice Patience.

Patience. Something I am sure most of us has struggled with at one point or another. We are constantly surrounded by stimulation and instant gratification.

It is hard to remember we need to slow down sometimes. We are quick to judge and this hurts relationships. We must develop patience. This helps us trust others better and trust you. Prove you can stand with them in a difficult situation, even if they have to wait to earn your trust.

4. Listen With Your Ears and Heart.

Listening is crucial to earning and developing trust. When someone confides in us, they are placing trust in us. If we do not listen or break this trust, it leads to a reluctance in communication as well as self-consciousness in the other person. Acknowledge your partner and listen to them. Do not just hear the words they say, especially in difficult situations, but let them land. When you listen with your heart, you hear the sincerity come through.

5. Engage In Your Commitment.

Strengthen your level of commitment. This is crucial to healthy relationships.

Prove to your partner that you value their time and energy and are willing to remain loyal. Once you have established a comfortable relationship, commit to it.

Can Therapy Help?

Therapy and counseling are great ways to help work through these issues! Although medication is not always advised, if it is necessary, you may be prescribed medication for more support. Your relationship growth could be due to any of the following:

  • Being too distant;
  • Lying to your spouse;
  • Infidelity from either partner;
  • Being too secretive;
  • Inability to communicate appropriately.

Couples therapy or marital counseling can benefit even the healthiest of relationships. No relationship is perfectly smooth and communication, understanding, and connection can always be improved. Relationship counseling is performed by a licensed professional and focuses on helping couples work through their issues.

According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, over 98% of families and couples surveyed indicated that they were highly satisfied/over 97% said they received the help they needed. Couples therapy is also known to be more effective than individual therapy.

Attachment-Based Therapy

Attachment theory was established in the 1960s and is centered around children and their relationships with caregivers. In the 1980s it became a treatment for adults as well as children. Talk therapy is the most effective for adults who suffer from attachment issues. Signs of attachment disorder in adults include:

  • Issues with control;
  • Inability to receive love;
  • Withdrawing from others;
  • Inability to form meaningful relationships.

Attachment-based therapy may be the best course of treatment if any of these symptoms sound like you. We advise you read our article about attachment styles, attachment-based family therapy, and couples therapy for more information. Mental Treat is also equipped with licensed mental health professionals who can help you figure out which treatment is right for you. Simply go onto our website and filter until you find the professional you are looking for!

A Word from Mental Treat

Overcoming trust issues is not easy, but it is possible. You may find that through therapy and a little time, your relationship may improve greatly. We hope that this article helped you have a better understanding of your trust issues and how to work through them. Communication, patience, and commitment are the keys to success. As always, take care and be well.

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